Squashed Authenticity

A Little Discomfort May Be Just What You Need

How do you handle it when someone infringes upon your beliefs?

When you feel like your core values are being challenged or threatened, it’s a 100% normal reaction to protect yourself by withdrawing your authenticity. I call this allowing yourself to get squashed.

We learn to guard ourselves from vulnerability early in life, and we formulate beliefs that we have to squash who we really are and appear perfect. The pressure to design our lives to someone else’s pattern becomes the bigger yes. Nothing can crush you and squash your authenticity faster than rejection and a lack of confidence.

Why?

We Don’t Want to Risk Discomfort or Humiliation, and We Truly Fear Being Susceptible to Rejection

We want to fit in, so we allow others’ voices to dictate how we show up. Their model becomes our definition of perfection. When we copy, it is never perfect. This is one reason why we never feel like we measure up. Others sense our insecurity, and it hurts the power of our presence.

During my corporate career, I believed in my mission and paid attention to what was going right and wrong. There were times where it was necessary to present different professional identities at different times in order to adapt to the environment.The more I tried to avoid being uncomfortable, the more discomfort I felt.

I felt like I was splitting into two selves.  It was simply a choice I had to make. I was one of the first successful black female leaders who never had a mentor or anyone to talk to about life in the big corporate city. When I finally learned that politics permeated through the leadership ranks, I was susceptible to discomfort because I was not a political machine. Talk about being uncomfortable! I felt like I didn’t know how to play the political power game, and therefore did not fit in. It wasn’t acceptable to be myself; a heavy introspection for a new young leader to carry around.

I realized years later that I was measuring myself against the wrong definition, and that’s why I didn’t fit. I constantly battled with being unsure and second-guessing myself. I squashed so much of my true self because I didn’t think the world would welcome me for who I was. When I saw that I was attributing the political corporate experience to the rest of my life, I began creating and applying the right definition.

Debra FarisI invite you to check in with me on my weekly show, Spicy Business Talk. We will be live tomorrow, March 16, 2016 at 12 noon we will be live http://ustre.am/1hoE3

My guest, Debra Faris and I and will dig deep and explore the importance of building authentic, lasting relationships, and why you Little Discomfort May Be Just What You Need to Make a Difference. Find out how successful women do things differently.

Debra Faris aka “The LinkedIn Connector” Top LinkedIn 1% Of Most-Viewed Profiles “The Connector” Helping Clients Create Authentic & Lasting Relationships Through LinkedIn.

Diana D. Price, CEO, Diana Price & Associates, Producer, Spicy Business Talk

Spicy Business Talk is a place where you can grow, adjust your mindset and design what takes place in your life, because…the playing field is not level.

Sign up and join our community today. To work with Diana Price & Associates or have Diana speak to your group, call 866.631.7500 or email diana@dianapriceassociates.com

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